A Letter to Parents Who are Trying Their Best
By Vania C. Matheus, MA, MS
V. Matheus Consulting
Dear Parent,
If you’ve found your way here, chances are you’re carrying a lot — worry, fear, confusion, maybe even guilt. I want to take a moment to speak not just to your decision-making mind, but to your heart.
Let me begin by saying this:
You are not failing. You are responding.
You’re not here because you gave up. You’re here because you care deeply. Seeking help — asking hard questions, exploring therapeutic support — is an act of courage. It's a signal that your love for your child is fierce, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to get them the care they need.
You’re allowed to be scared and still move forward.
Parents sometimes think they need to be confident or calm to take action. The truth is, most families move through this process with uncertainty in one hand and love in the other. That’s okay. That’s human. You can feel afraid and still be doing exactly the right thing.
This process may surface grief — and that’s normal.
Letting go of what your thought this chapter of life would look like can bring up a quiet kind of grief. It doesn’t mean you’re losing hope — it means you’re feeling the weight of change. It means you’re human. And it’s okay to hold grief and hope at the same time.
There’s no perfect timeline. Connection matters more than comparison.
Healing takes time. Your child’s growth won’t always follow a neat arc or a school calendar. Try not to compare their path to someone else’s. Focus on the relationship — on the steady presence, the repair, the showing up. That’s what anchors transformation.
You are not alone.
There are many parents who have stood exactly where you are — full of questions, sleepless with worry, trying to make the best decision with an aching heart. They have found their way forward. You will, too. You don’t have to do this alone.
As your consultant, I’m here to walk with you — not just as a professional, but as someone who deeply believes in the resilience of families and the possibility of change.
You’re doing something brave. Keep going.
With care and respect,
Vania Matheus
V. Matheus Consulting
